Petition for Implementation of MF Day



As I write this, we are celebrating moms around the world. Maternal figures are special because, not only do they perform a job no man would do (or even volunteer for), but being a mother is pretty much a thankless job. So, my hat’s off to all the ladies who have carried, raised, taught, hugged, advised, loved, and fed any other little person. Takes a special woman to pull that off with grace and style.

But I wanna talk about the men who make those ladies mothers in the first place, henceforth known as MF’s. Here’s the breakdown:

– When a man does an outstanding job, he is called “That MF” (i.e., “That MF takes care of me and my children AND he pays the bills!”)

– When a man does wrong, he is called “This MF” (i.e., “After being true to his ass for all those years, this MF gon’ up and leave me for a younger woman!”)

– When he handles business in the bed, the MF is tearing it up

– When he keeps messing up the finances, the MF is bound to get replaced

– When he cracks corny jokes, the MF thinks he’s funny, but he isn’t

– The dude who doesn’t seem to learn from his mistakes is an ignorant MF

– The guy who won’t come off the dime is a cheap MF

– A man who isn’t attractive is uglier than a MF

The list goes on an on. It seems that we men cannot escape the inevitability of being MF’s. Because of that, we shouldn’t shun the title and should instead embrace it!

I posit that the day after Mothers Day should be set aside to honor, venerate, and reflect upon those multipurpose MF’s who make women moms in the first place. I am submitting this petition to immediately implement MF Day across the globe. Mothers and children on every corner of the earth should be on hand to recognize the MFing culprit who is responsible.

As for me, I only bloom where I’m planted. It’s just that the seed in this garden is a MFing seed that yielded one crazy MF!!!