Valentines Day: Bittersweet Jigsaw Pieces, Unite!



More than cards, candy, and flowers, Valentines Day is all about love. It’s about being with the one who you adore and would rather not live without.

However, the one you can’t truly live without is YOU. We put so much emphasis on giving our hearts to that special man or woman who makes ours beat just a little bit faster. That’s good, but even greater is the love of oneself. I’m not talking about the virtue of self-preservation, nor am I speaking of the arrogance that rides shotgun with selfishness. I’m referring to having the proper love and respect for yourself. That’s hard.

Some folks run around like a jigsaw puzzle with missing pieces. They are in search of someone else that can complete and make them feel whole. I am all for love. What I am not for is blindly going through life all broken up, hoping someone else will put you back together again. That’s ridiculous and leads to an unhealthy relationship. As Lynn Collins sings, “It takes two to make a thing go right / It takes two to make it outta sight!” I agree, but I also say that each part of that couple has to be a whole person.

I remember years ago, when George Benson’s “The Greatest Love of All” was getting a second go-round on the R&B and Pop charts with Whitney Houston on the mic. As with many things, the song caused controversy in the church, with some of the ministers misconstruing the meaning of the lyrics. I heard the song being rebuffed because it supposedly ran contrary to the Word and God’s love. Not knocking the Creator, nor the Good Book, but a healthy love for oneself is something as essential as it is different from what comes across many a pulpit. A person cannot properly love anyone or anything else without having a basic adoration for the one in the mirror.

So, whether you’re with the other person who makes your heart sing or not, love your–as Katt Williams would say–star player! That is to say, love yourself in a healthy, realistic way. Learn yourself and what limitations you have. Take stock in every talent, gift, and all you bring to the table. More than love, genuinely learn to like yourself. None of us trapped in this plane of existence has achieved perfection and life is fleeting, at best. Accept you and strive to expect only the best of yourself. This holiday, instead of tripping, slipping,  falling, stumbling, dipping, and going head over heels for someone else, start by being affectionate to yourself. That alone will provide the basis to be a better lover, husband, wife, father, mother, brother, sister, and friend. A proper love and acceptance of yourself will even give you a better grasp on faith and spiritual things. Heck, it will make you a better PERSON. And that’s imperative.

Please share your heart, time, and attention with another. We all need that. Be as romantic as you can and as affectionate as you can stand. However, let that romance be a projection of what you feel about yourself. Otherwise, you’re just running around like that jigsaw puzzle, seeking completeness.