If thou lackest friends, it is likely due to a denial of thy cavernous rectal propensity.
He who hath not found himself checked shall find out that self-induced wreckage has occurred.
The ass who speaketh out of turn to his parent shall find his posterior teleported to the midst of the week hence.
Shallow is the fool who cares more about what an athlete makes and has yet to stack his own parchment.
Tainted are the fingers that have been stuck in parts unknown, then sniffed.
Foolish is the hairdresser who does not give up the nappy, yet thinks her man will remain with the same stylist.
Cursed are ye who have teased the nerd, for thou shalt find thyself workin’ for his ass years hence.